Cold
by SilverMidnight52
Summary: Wes dresses to the nines, drives a nice car, lives in a nice hotel. All the things people love to make fun of him for. In truth, the only reason he holds this so high is because he lived without for his childhood. How do you tell people that think you were born rich that you're a street kid? Warning inside.


This is a little story I've been wanting to write for awhile. I don't know what it's going to be. If it's long or short, but I like the idea. I own nothing!

Mentions of prostitution, child abuse, underage sex, and homelessness.

Also, I know I've said this before, but I've started a Facebook page called SilverMidnight52. I believe this will be an easier way for us to communicate and for you to get a say when I have questions.

* * *

An angry tic started in Wes's jaw as he stared out the window. He could here the group talking around him, but he couldn't make out the words. Not that he truly cared, but he normally paid a small bit of attention to them.

The day hadn't started out the best, but, then again, it never did. Especially on days where he and Travis had group. It always made him wonder why he had even agree to do this torture.

Alex had tried time and time again, but Wes had refused each and every time. It wasn't that he didn't love her, but he knew how things would go. He knew how he could be blamed for everything.

When the Captain brought it up the blond was ready to walk away. He didn't do it for Alex and he sure as hell wasn't going to go with Travis. And then the older Detective actually agreed with their Boss.

Still, he took his time saying yes. The only reason he did agree was because he knew Travis was just as broken as he was. At least that's what he had thought. Wes had never been as wrong as he had been then.

As normal, everyone decided to side with Travis. He had the world wrapped around his finger after one grin. That's all it took and everyone was by his side leaving Wes alone trying to fight to keep what he had.

Not that it was anything new. The blond had to fight for what he wanted more often than he liked to think about. He just wanted to have one day where he didn't feel like the weight of the world was on his shoulders.

Of course it might help if he didn't have to control ever little thing. Wes knew he had a problem. Well, that wasn't right. He had many problems. None of which he was really ready to talk about. Ever talk about.

Still, he didn't think that he was being unreasonable. He had warned Travis to be careful opening the door. He had spent five minutes circling the parking lot bitching about people not knowing how to park.

That should have been enough. It would have been enough for anyone else, but Travis was not like anyone else. He was a stupid, arrogant, idiotic, man-child that didn't think about anyone but himself!

He opened the door and hit the wall causing a beautiful dent in the door. Something that Wes and Travis had argued about time and time again. They were in therapy though and slowly, very slowly, were getting better.

They still yelled at each other and never truly talked to each other, but they hadn't gotten into a physical fight in almost two months. They were getting better. At least... At least Wes thought they were getting better.

So when Travis dented the car Wes had hoped that this time the older man would apologize. Yes, there would still have been yelling and name calling, but Wes would have forgiven him and let it go. They would have moved on.

Is that was Travis did? Nope. He acted like it was already there after acting like the dent was unseeable. It was completely rude and showed a complete disregard to anything that belonged to Wes.

Yes, Wes was beyond pissed at Travis for this and it wasn't like he was being unreasonable. One little apology. Two tiny words. The blond would have been mad still, but he would have forgiven him easily enough.

"Wes," Dr. Ryan called finally getting the Detective's attention, "You're being awfully quiet. Is there something you'd like to share?"

"He's just mad about his car," Travis jumped in before Wes could answer.

"His car? What happened to your car, Wes?"

"Travis did," Wes growled.

The oler man pulled a face causing the other couples to laugh while Wes seethed. This was why he never talked in group. Nothing he said was taken seriously and, even when he had a valid point, Travis turned it back on him.

"Damaging my car is not funny," Wes snapped angrily causing the group to fall silent.

"It's barely even a scratch, baby," Travis spoke shrugging off his partners tone.

"Barely even... Are you blind or just plain stupid? You caused about $500 worth of damage!"

"I don't think..." Dr. Ryan tried to jump in and stop the fight before it began.

"It's not like you don't have the money, Wes. I know that suit $800 at least. Hell, those shoes are probably $500 alone!"

"That's not the point, Travis, and you know it!"

"Then what is the point? Don't want to dish out your money? Too used to your Mommy and Daddy paying for everything? It's a car, Wes!"

Wes's jaw clenched angrily as it always did whenever his parents were brought up. It was the one subject that he didn't talk about. Even Alex knew nothing about them. Which was the way the blond wanted it.

Everyone knew that Travis's parents were off-limits. Even at his maddest Wes wouldn't bring it up. Sadly that didn't mean that he was offered the same courtesy. In fact, Alex and his parents were the fist things Travis brought up.

He didn't seem to see all of Wes's walls come back up the the second they were brought up. Each and every single time the blond shut down completely and somehow Travis still didn't stop bringing them up.

How was that surprising? Everyone knew that Wes was an unfeeling robot. His heart was frozen black hole that nobody could care about let alone love. This were just facts of the world that everyone knew. Why should Wes hope differently?

"You've already proven you wouldn't understand," Wes glared looking away from his partner.

"I wouldn't understand?" Travis questioned incredulously, "Hey, I know what it's like to have possessions that you fight tooth and nail for. But with you, man, it's every single object. Your car, your suits, your obsession with your ex's lawn."

"I take care of my possessions," Wes glared.

"Your possessions? You know I've never heard you talk about the house you and Alex shared? It was always the lawn. What was it about that lawn?"

"Travis..."

"Then there's that hotel room. You've had it for what? Two years? Do you like being homeless that much?"

"Yes."

The room seemed to freeze at what Wes's admitted. Sky blue eyes widened when he realized what he had said. The last thing he wanted was for people to know the truth. Not when he spent so much time hiding it.

It wasn't something he was proud of. Hell, if people knew what he had had to do to survive his childhood and teen years he wouldn't have been allowed to be a lawyer let alone a cop.

"Wes?" Travis questioned turning his chair to the blond, "What are you saying?"

"I'm not being subtle, Travis," Wes glared out the window, "I said exactly what I meant."

"You said you liked being homeless. It was... You're implying you've been homeless before."

With a shake of his head Wes crossed his arms knowing he said too much already. What was it about Travis that had Wes telling not only him, but complete strangers his darkest secrets?

"No," Travis stood up forcing Wes to his feet as well, "Talk to me. Tell me, in no uncertain words, what you meant."

"You want to know, Travis?" Wes snarled stepping closer to his partner, "Fine. When I was younger I was homeless. Full fledged street kid."

Troubled ocean blue eyes trailed over pale skin as if he could find the truth. His stomach dropped when he saw the answer in his partners eyes. How could the younger man hide something that huge?

Rolling his eyes angrily Wes took his seat once more. He said what he needed to say and now he had to wait for Dr. Ryan or Travis to talk again. Yeah, this was going to be a fun session.

Dr. Ryan opened her mouth to speak only for the door to open. Seeing the yoga girls walk in the woman dismissed everyone but the Detectives. They had a lot more to talk about and alone would be for the best.

Motioning for the boys to follow her they walked to the park across the street. Everything seemed to be quiet though they knew that it was only because they were all lost in their own worlds.

"How long did you live on the streets, Wes?" Dr. Ryan not looking at either man.

"Twelve, thirteen years," the blond shrugged, "Worked two jobs."

"How old..."

"I was eight when I left my house."

"Left?"

"Left. Ran away in terror as my Mother ran after me with a butchers knife in a coked-up stupor."

Travis froze hearing the calmness in his partners voice. Even as he said the words it was as if Wes was disconnected from them. That tone only came from either years of abuse or complete denial of the situation.

The older man had no idea what he was supposed to think. There were too many thoughts running through his head and he couldn't hold on to one of them long enough to ask them.

Now that the truth was out in the open though it made a lot of things come together. There were so many things about Wes that just seemed to fall into place when you added abuse victim and formerly homeless to the mix.

The obsession with his lawn and clothes and car. The hatred of spending money when he didn't have to, but going to fancy places that he hadn't been able to before. Everything he could to get past his old life.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Travis asked his voice holding a lost quality that he hated, "I would have understood, babe."

"You had already decided that I was rich, stuck-up, and who knows what else," Wes sighed rolling his eyes, "Why break that delusion?"

"Does Alex know?"

"No, Travis, Alex does not know about it. Surprisingly enough I'm not exactly proud of some of the things I had to do to survive."

Letting his words sink in Wes turned and walked away. He knew that he had given the two a lot to think about. Truthfully, he was just waiting for them to turn around and walk away. He wouldn't blame them.

Most days he didn't want to be around himself. That happened mostly when he woke up from dreaming of his past. Those were the days that Wes found it hard to get out of the shower in the morning.

"What did you have to do, Wes?" Dr. Ryan questioned walking up behind the blond.

"Don't make me answer that," Wes whispered not turning around, "Please, don't make me answer that."

Tears had gathered in the pale mans eyes as images of his past flashed in his mind. Every crime he had to commit just to make it to the next day. Every time he wanted to throw himself into traffic to end it all.

Feeling the need to run Wes took a step forward only to have a hand spin him around and strong arms wrap around him. For a moment he stood there frozen before his walls started to crumble.

Reaching up with a shaky hand Wes curled his fist in Travis's leather jacket. Tears streamed down his face only to be caught by a dark blue Henley. It was a site to see the normally composed Wes completely breakdown.

Feeling the other mans legs go at from underneath him Travis held tighter slowly lowering them to the ground. He knew how much Wes hated getting dirty, but he wasn't exactly strong enough strong enough to hold him up.

Once they were on the ground he gathered the blond until he was practically in his lap. Wes didn't seem to notice as he sat there his body shaking as heart-wrenching sobs spilled from his lips.

Blinking back his own tears the darker skinned man looked up at the doctor only to see her silently crying herself. God, how could they all have missed something so vital in younger mans past?

"I didn't..." Wes started pulling back enough to look in his partners eyes, "I didn't have a choice. Please. Please, tell me you see that. I didn't have a choice. I didn't have a choice."

Cradling the back of the blonds head Travis made soft soothing noises. It was terrifying watching the younger man sit on the ground as he sobbed and plead for forgiveness that he didn't need.

Travis knew that Wes hadn't had the nicest parents. Though he had never gotten any real detail before now. Never before had he wanted to track someone down and make them feel even a fraction of the pain he caused.

"Travis," Dr. Ryan finally spoke causing Wes to stiffen, "I'm going to call your Captain and tell him you two had a breakthrough. I won't give him details, Wes. Take your partner home."

Nodding his head in agreement Travis helped the pale man to his feet and then to his car. Once he had the car keys the older man slowly drove to his home already planning on calling one of his foster brothers to come fix the car.

When they finally make it to Travis's place Wes is almost asleep. Gathering his partner in his arms once more Travis leads him through the trailer and onto the bed. Taking a step back two pairs of blue eyes met.

"I'm sorry, Travis," Wes whispers once more."

"You didn't do anything wrong," Travis responds venomously.

"I'm a..."

"Stop."

"Hooker, Travis. I am a hooker. Hell, sometimes it wasn't even for food. I just couldn't be in the cold anymore. I didn't come who I was with as long as I wasn't cold anymore. It never lasted they. The kicked me out of the bed as soon as they could.

"Some were nice. The richer ones. They'd buy the room for the night and tell me I could stay. That I looked like I needed a shower or a good nights rest. How the hell do you rest when you know you're a usable piece of trash to those people?"

"Enough. Don't you ever talk about yourself that way. You did what you had to to survive and _no one_ can fault you for that. You don't have to apologize or anything to me or anyone.

Your life was shit, Wes, but you survived. And I'm happy... Hell, I'm thrilled that you did. I just... I just wish you trusted me, man. I would have been willing to listen or just sit with you so you weren't alone. I would have been here for you."

Wes fell quiet at his friends words. In his mind he knew that Travis wouldn't have held it against him. He would have understood what he did and why he did it. He would have helped in anyway he could.

It was his heart though. Everything in his past told him not to get close to people. He had tried with Alex, but that had fallen apart. Quite spectacularly. Maybe... Was it possible Travis was different?

"Travis?" Wes swallowed heavily, "Maybe... I mean, would you... I'm cold."

"I'm here," Travis smiled as he laid down letting the blond curl against him, "I'm here, Wes."


End file.
